Waiting for Someday

For far too long, I’ve been waiting for someday.

Someday, I will figure out what to do.
Someday, I will have the courage to do what I really want to do.
Someday, I will live the life that I’ve always dreamed of.  I will have a family. I will have a successful career.  I will write a book, lose 10 pounds, travel the world, volunteer to help others.
Someday, my life will be perfect.

And then it hits me.  I’ve been waiting on a day of the week that will never get here.  Someday has become my favorite day of the week, and it doesn’t even exist.  Meanwhile, I’ve been frittering away the days – the real days – for a long time.

That’s when I realized something else, too.  I’ve waited on things that have been in front of me all along.  I’ve even done some of those things.

Suddenly, I feel like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.  And, I want to wake up and see what is already in front of me.  I have a family.  If I want to add to it, then there are ways to do so. If I want a successful career, I just need to pick a direction and go. I’ve written so much over the last few years that there is a book in there somewhere.  I only need to sit down and make sense of it.  If I want to lose 10 pounds, I can eat cleaner, exercise more and make it a priority of my life.  If I want to travel, I can sit down, figure out where I want to go, and leave.  And, if I do not feel like I’m doing enough to help others, I can do more with the group I am already involved in, or find another group.  The possibilities are endless.  And I’m the only thing standing in my way.

I’ve let two things stop me from achieving what I really want:  fear and should.  I shouldn’t write a book, because that’s not a career.  And yet, I read a lot of books, so somebody is making a living writing.  I should have a career that others understand.  I can be a consultant, or a gas scheduler, or something that requires me to get up and go to a job.  That makes sense.  Most people do that.  That’s what I should do, right?

Says who?  And why do I care what they think?  Who are they anyway?

They are people who mean well.  They want me to be secure so I don’t have to struggle.  Or they are people who would be threatened by my success and don’t want me to try, because that would force them to take another look at themselves.  Or they simply don’t understand what I’m trying to do, because it is an unconventional path.

Again, why do I care?  Fear.  Because at some level, I care what others think of me.  I don’t want to fail, because I don’t want to disappoint my loved ones.  And, I don’t want to give the haters another reason to gloat.  Because what if they’re right, and I’m not good at what I want to do?

But what if they’re wrong?  What if I can do what I want and be successful?  Don’t I owe it to myself to do what I think is right?  I’ve done it before.  Against the odds, I was accepted into one of the country’s top business schools.  I started a business that appealed to such a small audience, it should have failed in the first two years.  Instead, I have left a legacy that helps a small but extremely loyal client base.

It’s time to stop existing and start living.  It’s time to start doing what I want to do, what I believe I should do, not what others think I should do.  Because at the end of the day, I’m the one who has to live with the decisions I make.

It’s about to get real.

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