Sorry Spidey

I like spiders.  At least, I like the idea that they’re out there, eating all the mosquitoes and other bugs I don’t like (which is pretty much all of them).

Note:  This is not the spider I saw, just the closest pic I could find.  The camera ate the image I wanted to use.

I just don’t want them to get too close to me.  Especially big spiders.

So, imagine my “delight” when I saw a big-as-my-palm spider sharing my mat in yoga class.  Yes, just two feet away from where I was sitting, Spidey decided to join me.  And, since this was a class where we relax into poses, I didn’t notice this until I opened my eyes between poses.

To my credit, I didn’t scream – I didn’t make any noise.  I just stood up slowly and backed away (read:  I ran my ass as far away from the mat as possible without disturbing any closed-eyed yogis.  Which was not far enough).  When the instructor noticed me, I just pointed.

The instructor sprang into action.  She grabs a coffee cup and some paper towels to try to trap the spider and release it into the wild.  Spidey is not cooperating – he starts to jump.  Yes, jump.  That’s when she exclaims, “I hate spiders!”  (Fair point:  she was hospitalized twice from spider bites.  I wouldn’t be a fan either.)  Needless to say, the class is now officially disrupted and I’m not the only one who’s upset.

Fortunately, one brave man comes over to help.  As he gets close to Spidey, several women scream, “Don’t kill it!” and the spider continues to evade capture, jumping to safety behind a shelf.  “You got lucky brother!” shouts the instructor (I’m not sure why we think Spidey is a boy).  Crisis over, the class continues.  Or so we think.  About 15 minutes later, she says, “he’s coming back for you.”  Sure enough, he’s two feet away again.

Why, Spidey?  Why me?  Why my mat?  I’m not bothering you.  I just want to practice yoga without you sharing my mat and staring at me.  It kinda creeps me out.  No offense.  Can’t you show yourself out?  Why?!?!?!?!?

This time, the instructor manages to trap Spidey under a coffee mug.  We finish class while Spidey enjoys his time out.  (OK, we enjoy it, which allows us to continue class without fear of him crawling over us and biting.  Details.)


  1. I’m not as big a fan of spiders as I thought.
  2. Big spiders can go next to skydiving on the list of things that I have no desire to experience.
  3. This is probably a good metaphor for facing my fears except I’m OK not conquering this one (or skydiving – I just see no reason to jump from a perfectly functioning plane).

So, how do you feel about spiders?  Do you have a fear you don’t care to address?

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