Canine Chronicles Part 1: Vegas, Baby!

I’ve engaged a few guest bloggers to help keep things interesting around here.  My guests don’t have opposable thumbs so I’ll be translating for them.  First up:  Vegas baby!

Day 1 – My mommy and daddy left me.  They’re never coming back.

Oh, hi there.  My name is Vegas.  I’m a big, lovable, good-looking guy (see photo).  My favorite hobbies are following my daddy everywhere, using my superior size to plow through obstacles (my friend Bandit went airborne when I pushed him aside to get a treat), and plopping down to rest whenever the mood strikes me (I can move furniture by lying down).  I also love treats, my friend Lucy’s toys (hey, she hogs mine when she visits) and being a scary-looking watchdog (apparently that’s debatable).

So, today, my parents took us to see our buddies Lucy and Bandit.  I like hanging out with them, but I don’t know why we have to stay here.  I’m going to sulk until someone orders a pizza.

Day 2 – I still miss my mommy and daddy.  But at least we get to go to the park.  I love the park!  It’s so much space and I get to roam as much as I want.  I don’t have to be on a leash either.  We go twice a day, every day.  There are so many dogs and people, and everyone is so nice.  I get lots of pets, and people say, “he’s so soft.”  I know, it’s tough being me.

Day 3 am – No one has ordered me a pizza.  This is unacceptable.  Time for action.  I’ve called for reinforcements and we’re going to storm this joint.  It’s our best chance – the lady is by herself now (The man left a couple of days ago, he’s probably never coming back either).  Max – that’s my brother – has agreed to pee on the carpet first thing this morning.  Then, we’re going to get our leashes tangled and see if we can pull the lady off her feet on the way to the park.  Except for Lucy – she’s going to pull behind us.  Bandit even said he’d grab Max’s treat right out of her hand!  We’ll show her who’s boss.

Day 3 pm – it didn’t go as planned.  Lady got all shout-y.  We were just having fun.  FYI – it doesn’t look like we’re getting pizza either.

Vegas and Max - Dog Bed
Me and Max.  He says I’m hogging his bed.

On the bright side, the lady seems happier.  And we got to walk home with our new friend Lily.  I like Lily.  She’s silly – she plays with all the other dogs.  I tried to tell her I don’t play (too undignified for me) but she keeps trying.  She should go bother Max – he likes playing.

Day 4 – Why do all the little dogs challenge me?  They come up and run at me, barking their little heads off.  Seriously, one of them has a head smaller than my paw.  Why?  I’m a lover, not a fighter.  But I could totally kick some butt if I had to.  Or sniff it.  Whatever.

Day 5 – The man came back so the lady seems happier.  Now we all walk to the park, which is fun.  The only thing is that dog Lily.  She’s cute and all, but she keeps trying to get me to play.  I like hanging out with dogs but playing is SOOO exhausting.  I told her to go play with Max, but she won’t listen.  What’s a big guy to do?

Day 6 – Someone finally ordered a pizza.  About time – we’ve been here for a year.  And where’s my daddy?

Day 7 – The lady keeps telling me that mommy and daddy are coming home today.  At first, I didn’t believe her, but now I’m starting to wonder.  The lady wouldn’t make something up like that, would she?  Are they here yet? How about now?  Now?  NOW?  Wait, I hear something.  They’re here! HAPPY DANCE!!!!  (Notices TV remote on floor) Oops.  Did I do that?  It’s not my fault, it’s my tail.  Sorry.

MOMMY!  DADDY!  I’VE MISSED YOU!!!!  OPEN THE VAN, OPEN THE VAN!!!  (Van door opens.)  Later dudes, it was fun, but I’m going home!

Until Next Time,

Vegas

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